Growing Pains
When I began my journey to improve my health, my understanding of the term “healthy” to me meant exercising more frequently, eating less processed foods, and drinking more water. It seemed so simple at the time to implement these changes and the transition didn’t seem too outrageous from my previous regime. Granted, I am still constantly striving in my life today to meet these goals and be the epitome of “healthy”.
In sophomore year of college, I was so extreme about these things that I would take each to the next level by working out 6-7 days a week doing ONLY cardio. I completely cut out junk food and carbs like bread and rice, and forced myself to drink more than a gallon of water until I felt like throwing up. Indulging in a cheat meal or going out to drink with my friends left me feeling guilt-ridden and I would go straight back to the gym to burn off my regrets.
Moving to Seattle, I dove head first into the sustainability movement too. Everywhere I went, I would bring bags, glass jars, metal utensils, and metal straws just in case I ran into the choice of plastic of reusable. In my last post about sustainable items to use, I still try my best to use those items when I can but since moving and getting even busier with life, I would forget these little things to carry with me and felt ashamed and disappointed. If I really needed an americano that day because I didn’t sleep well the night before, I would feel horrible for buying a single-use cup.
What these two things have in common here is they ended up adding more stress to my life than joy. All of these unrealistic expectations to be completely immersed in health, environmentalism, and fitness made me more anxious and self-loathing.
To one person, these little things like not getting your daily vegetables or getting a coffee on the go may seem ordinary but to me it was the end of the world. It’s similar to someone who could never imagine going a day without eating meat or reading their scripture while to others, it’s not part of their values and therefore not a part of their daily routine.
The things we commit ourselves to are a direct reflection of what we hold to ourselves with merit and significance.
It’s mentally and emotionally taxing to hold yourself to a standard that’s unattainable but I was too stubborn to relinquish these expectations for myself. Every moment I set myself up with an expectation always left me feeling more disappointed by not fulfilling it.
I’ve never wanted to be like everyone else and fall into habits just because it was what others were doing. In this chaos of figuring out who I am, what I value, and what I want to invest myself in, there was never harmony between all my self-aspirations. If I was being a fitness junkie, I was neglecting the part of me that wants to be a better cook. If I was more focused on excelling at my career, I forgot to be environmentally conscious. There was no balance.
The vicious cycles of overexerting myself and feeling guilty for not being the wonder woman I envisioned in my mind took a toll on me mentally. As I sought out an unrealistic version of myself, I was becoming everything health professionals detest.
The World Health Organization (WHO) defines health as “complete physical, mental, and social well-being - and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”
To have a healthier mindset to me meant to eliminate the waste out of my life by using less plastic, burning more fat at the gym, and just eating whole plant-based foods. On the surface, I was maintaining one or the other but at the end of the day, I never maintained my happiness for long.
Something I’ve noticed as a young millennial women is how females are always juggling a million things at once yet we rarely ever gives ourselves a break or credit. The most highly-renowned females today are being mothers, business owners, best friends, amazing wives, fitness experts, and chef extraordinaire simultaneously. It’s a mystery how we get everything done within 24 hours of the day and yet men still give us backtalk for only washing my hair twice a week. At that moment, I don’t believe wasting our precious energy to explain why we do it because the truth is that we just can’t afford the time to do it more often.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with continuously looking for the next best version of yourself. The reason why we obsessively go through crazy diets is because we want to find what in this world will benefit us the most.
I’ve spent many late nights contemplating how to become these parts of myself and still get 8 hours of sleep to keep my sanity. Being able to give all parts of yourself, (mind, body, and spirit) what it needs and devoting the time to nourish yourself beyond the plate.
This was a hard pill for me to swallow as someone who runs off of self-depreciation. Everyday is a challenge and I still find myself falling into my past toxic mindset. Once I became kinder to myself and began to focus on becoming someone who I respect rather than someone who looks good and has it all together, I found self-love in every difficult growing pain moment in between. Here are a couple of tips to keep yourself mentally in-check:
Continue to strive for your goals but do it at your own pace. You are not racing anyone but yourself
Do what feels good for your body. I took myself on a date this year for the first time ever (as pathetic as it sounds) and it was so relaxing. I walked around my new neighborhood, got some delicious vegan ice cream, listened to a podcast, and went thrift shopping! I highly recommend doing it if you even have an hour of free time.
Do something everyday that makes you happy. Many people work jobs that not only take up the majority of their day but lower their frequencies in the universe aka cause them to resonate a negative aura. Taking even 30 minutes a day to do something you love is harder than it sounds. I enjoy reading on the bus, listening to podcasts, cooking vegan food (duh!), or watching a dumb cartoon show.
It’s okay to say no. When you want to please everyone like I do, going out with your friends or significant other seems mandatory. If you need the time to just spend with yourself or work on other things, never feel bad about taking a rain check. No one is going anywhere and you know more than anyone else where you want to spend your time right here, right now.
Get physical and make it enjoyable! Going to the gym used to be a punishment and a chore for me but since I started to let loose on how often I went and the types of exercises I do, it’s now something I look forward to. Going outside for a long walk can prove to be very beneficial for your cardiovascular health and it releases endorphins into your brain to brighten up your mood.
Remind yourself of your blessings. When you’re always hungry for more, it’s easy to adopt a negative mindset. Switch up the narrative tone of your life and take a second to appreciate all the parts of your current life. Ed Mylett’s podcast preaches the idea of saying five things every night before you go to bed that you are thankful for which ends up being harder than it sounds.
LOVE YOURSELF. We’re all works in progress here. Trials and errors, ups and downs — these are all what make us imperfectly perfect humans! There is no one else like you. You can choose to be your worst enemy or your biggest cheerleader.
Let me know what self-help tips or personal growth struggles that may come to mind after reading this post!
xx, geminieats